Dear LJ Land People,

I am in dire REPEAT DIRE need of an ice cream sammich. If I do not have an ice cream sammich, I will expire. This is not a drill. This is an ACTUAL EMERGENCY!!!

Geezus who does a girl have to kill to get some ice cream sammich action??

Hugs and puppies,
Heather.

Just thought I'd share...I've got part of my virtual clothing collection (Fukmi Clothing) up on Second Life Exchange. :) Trying to finish this all up before I move. I have to complete five more sets, and about eight more vendors before the official release.

If you are curious...check it out...

I am really pleased with how the vendor graphics turned out. The buildings in the background? A scene from Portland, Oregon. ;)

Mood

Today, Heather is...worried and terribly sad.
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Weather

82 degrees and sunny.
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Horoscope for July 25, 2008

Now is the time for you to tell that one friend or coworker how it is -- even if it seems uncomfortable. You know the difference between advice and critique and can give them just what they need.
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Word of the Day

bindle stiff
\BIN-dul-stiff\ noun
: hobo; especially : one who carries his clothes or bedding in a bundle
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Quote

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. - Anais Nin
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Randomness

Today I plan to...work work work and then pack pack pack.

Last night I...had a good cry and fell asleep.

I can't believe... 

Mood

Today, Heather is...waiting for the world to change.
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Weather

83 degrees and sunny.
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Horoscope for July 24, 2008

Nobody else is going to get the ball rolling, so it's up to you. There's plenty of energy keeping you happy, so you should have enough to spark a few projects to make life more interesting.
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Word of the Day

soupçon
\soop-SAWNG (the final NG is not pronounced, but the vowel is nasalized)\ noun
: a little bit : trace
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Quote

Back off! I'm a scientist!
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Randomness

Today I plan to...work work work and then pack pack pack.

Last night I...had a long conversation with someone I love.

I can't believe...I'm eating oatmeal for lunch.

There is a lot going on in my head today. Too much to share here and do justice. The mood says it all.

Mood

Today, Heather is...feeling fine.
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Weather

73 degrees and stormy.
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Horoscope for July 23, 2008

You have a pretty good idea what you want to see happen, but you may need to refine your plans for bringing it about. Now is a good time to get together with friends or family members to get assistance.
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Word of the Day

natatorial
\nay-tuh-TOR-ee-ul\ adjective
1 : of or relating to swimming
2 : adapted to or characterized by swimming
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Quote

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. - Oscar Wilde
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Randomness

Today I plan to...work work work and then pack pack pack.

Last night I...rented a storage unit and designed some clothes for Second Life.

I can't believe...I'm awake.

Last night, I got a package in the mail from my friend, Shelly Webster. She sent a little money and Steve Martin's book on CD "Born Standing Up." It was just what I needed. She knows I don't ask for help and that words of encouragement, however heartfelt, often falls on deaf ears. This package said "I believe in you". Made me a wee bit misty eyed.

For most of my adult life, I have come to expect that those who consider themselves my friend when I am Heather-Bigger-Than-Life-Living-Cartoon will leave when I am Heather-Dark-Dreary-Fatalistic-Drama-Queen. My dark is too dark. And once I've fallen from their pedestal and I can't get up.

Until recently, this seemed to hold true for the most part. But the last month or so, I have found that I have  friends who love me for me. For the first time in my life, I feel really loved and supported. Shelly and Jenn, in particular, have watched me stumble, fail, disappoint so many times. Yet here I am, at what I consider my most unlovable. They still love me. What's more - they still think I am capable of great things. It means so very much to me.

Maybe I'm just finally at a point where I believe it is okay to need others. Maybe I finally realize that I want to share my life not be the final and only authority in it.

Maybe I'll give that comedy open mike night another try this weekend. :)

Poll #1227870 Sophia - Dead!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2

Alright, who killed Estelle Getty (Sophia, Golden Girls)?

Mood

Today, Heather is...feeling philosophical today.
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Weather

81 degrees and clear.
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Horoscope for July 22, 2008

Your career is on your mind in one way or another and while you may not be able to make any great leaps right now, you are in a good position to make lateral moves -- maybe a surprising one!
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Word of the Day

caustic
\KAWSS-tik\ adjective
1 : capable of destroying or eating away by chemical action : corrosive
2 : marked by incisive sarcasm
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Quote

I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. - Mary Chase
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Randomness

Today I plan to...work work work and then pack pack pack.

Last night I...dealt with Avery drama.

I can't believe...how difficult and stubborn my son can be. Wait. Yes I can. You can be skeptical about astrology but my son really lives up to being a Capricorn with Leo rising, nine signs in Capricorn all in the house of Leo.

I don't really have anything to add to my earlier voice post. I'm mullin' things. 

Mood

Today, Heather is...wanting to tell someone that she misses her with her whole heart but won't because she's afraid to.
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Weather

83 degrees and fair.
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Horoscope for July 21, 2008

You may not be able to get much practical work done today, but if you focus on your creative side, you may be immensely satisfied with the results. It's a good time to pick up a new hobby.
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Word of the Day

epigone
\EP-uh-gohn\ noun
: follower, disciple; also : an inferior imitator
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Quote

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared. - PJ Plauger
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Randomness

Today I plan to...lay down and nurse an upset stomach.

Last night I...fell asleep at 8 PM.

I can't believe...how much my stomach hates me. I think all the stress has caught up with me.

Having had a few days, I've been thinking about Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. Talk about frightening! I know some people hoped for more of a "back story" regarding his existence but I'm glad they didn't do that. Back story is often used to justify the actions of a character or to make them sympathetic. If you've read the comic books, there is absolutely nothing redeemable about the Joker. Besides, sometimes there really isn't a reason. Some people are just unhinged and evil. Like my Gramma Rose.

Any recommendations on a good, inexpensive storage place?

Mood

Today, Heather is...really really really tired.
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Weather

82 degrees and sunny.
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Horoscope for July 20, 2008

It's a good time to stand up for your ideals -- you've got positive energy to spare and anyone who stands in your way is sure to have a hard time making their case against you at a time like this!
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Word of the Day

asperse
\uh-SPURSS\ verb

1 : to sprinkle; especially : to sprinkle with holy water
2 : to attack with evil reports or false or injurious charges
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Quote

The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught. - Marquis de Vauvenargues
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Randomness

Today I plan to...pack a little and clean a little.

I can't believe...I was up until 5:30 AM talking online.

Last night I...spent a long time talking to one of my virtual friends, L. During one of my breaks from SL, L was hired to work at the Booby Hatch as a dancer. Talk about a force of nature! When we met, we seemed to click instantly. WS've known each other for nearly two years.

It was an unusually candid conversation. About how she's always thought of me as one of the most genuine and caring people in any life. How she would go gay for me (lol). How she wants me to be happy because she believes I deserve great things. It was a very loving, nurturing conversation. I have to say, it has been gratifying to receive unconditionally. I've been surprised by some of the people stepping up to show support. L is a prime example. She is not known for trusting anyone, let alone such a sincere expression of love and admiration.

I keep confidences so there is little I can reveal here. However, the part that I can mention regards a mutual friend. B is an interesting character. Very random and funny and smart. She always makes me laugh. In real life, she is beautiful, lesbian, and lives about two hours from here. I've known her for over a year (she was a Booby Hatch regular) but have spent more time with her in recent months.

She apparently had a long conversation with L regarding my lack of sl time of late. For some inexplicable reason, L has decided that B is harboring a not-so-secret real life crush. So, she has decided to play matchmaker in rl. I carefully pointed out to L that I am not like my sl character -- I'm 38 and overweight and not terribly attractive physically. I believe whatever infatuation exists currently would cool almost instantly upon meeting me in real life. To confirm this, I sent L my real life picture. L told me I'm ridiculous and that she thinks I'm lovely. (Me: yeah yeah yeah.) She then shared her belief that B would drive down here in a heart beat to see me if I'd give her any indication of interest.

I shared some of this story with my sl wife fully conveying my "isn't this funny" disbelief. She said she already knew B had a thing for me. Apparently, I'm dense.

This was the second time in so many days that someone went out of their way to tell me I was attractive. I'm not sure I agree. But it's nice to know people are willing to say this to me. :)

Mood

Today, Heather is...missing someone more than usual today. :(
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Weather

90 degrees and partly cloudy.
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Horoscope for July 19, 2008

You're still feeling pretty brainy -- though that's a pretty normal part of your day. It's a really good time to sit back and think things through, as you've got far more time than you know what to do with.
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Word of the Day


fire-sale
\FYRE-SAIL\ adjective
: heavily discounted
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Quote

I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane. - Ray Bradbury
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Randomness

Today I plan to...pack a little and clean a little.

Last night I...saw "The Dark Knight". I loved it. It was very very intense.

I can't believe...how "Dr. Horrible" ended.

We'll be going to stay with Scott starting next weekend it looks like. Notice will be put in on the first and we'll be in our own place by the 1st of September.

I'm not feeling very well today. :(

Mood

Today, Heather is...working for the weekend, baby!
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Weather

77 degrees and cloudy.
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Horoscope for July 18, 2008

You need to step back and take a new look at things -- your mind is perfectly attuned to accepting new ways of seeing the world. It's a great day for getting people to change their minds!
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Word of the Day

bogart \BOH-gart\ verb
1 : bully, intimidate
2 : to use or consume without sharing
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Affirmation

I am living each moment as a new beginning.
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Randomness

Today I plan to...be random and unplanned.

Last night I...watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog. Oh man, I do love me some Neil Patrick Harris. He's such a crack up. I hope Whedon's experiment really pays off because I think it could really clear the way for some truly inspired entertainment. It's only on the web for a few days so see it while you can. Not everyone will be as amused as me but...it's a venture worth supporting.

I can't believe...how much I have to get packed and done this weekend. Anyone know a good place for storage? I need to put EVERYTHING into storage so I can move on out.

Who's taking me to see "Dark Knight"? I really really REALLY want to see it. If you take me to the movies, I will love you FOREVER. Okay, I'll at least remove you from the 'set fire to with my mind' list. Well, move you to the bottom of the list at least so by the time I got to you, it'd be a Guiness record killing spree.

You wish you were as cool as me. I know you do.

Yes, I'm in one of those moods today...Beware. BEEEEEWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRREEEEEEE! 

Mood

Today, Heather is...feeling brand new baby!!
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Weather

75 degrees and dark because I'm writing this at 6:21 in the morning.
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Horoscope for July 17, 2008

If you need buy-in or support from others, expect to wait and wait while they dither and delay and make excuses -- there's just no way to speed things up! It's a good time for solo projects.
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Word of the Day

superannuated \soo-per-AN-yuh-way-tud\ adjective

1 : outmoded, old-fashioned
2a : incapacitated or disqualified for active duty by advanced age
b : older than the typical member of a specified group
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Affirmation

I am the power in my world. I get to have whatever I choose to think.
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Randomness

Today I plan to...go to a luncheon and do some networking.

Last night I...visited with Jenn who was in town getting her animals. We had a long talk about the power of positive thinking. She gave me a self-help book -- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay. "You already know this stuff," she said, "But sometimes we need a little reminder. Read chapter four." As I thumbed through the book, I saw that she slipped money in as a bookmark. I did my best not to cry. Jennifer has loved me longer and better than anyone in my life. We had a falling out years ago and had never quite found our way back to each other. And here she was, stopping by just to tell me she loved me and to give me a little support. I felt so loved. She essentially told me the one thing that I have needed to hear -- I love you as you are.

I can't believe...that last Friday was the anniversary of when Lisa and I met. I guess this has contributed significantly to my insanity this past week. We would have been together six years. I miss her.

Things are getting better and I am living each moment as a new beginning.

Dick Arrested for Alleged Teen Sex Battery

 Mood

Today, Heather is...coccooning.
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Weather

75 degrees and cloudy.
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Horoscope for July 16, 2008

Life is a bit more difficult than it used to be, but the situation is only temporary, so don't panic. You're up to the challenge and may be able to draw on support from unexpected sources.
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Word of the Day

belvedere
\BEL-vuh-deer\ noun
: a structure (as a cupola or a summerhouse) designed to command a view
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Quote of the Day

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. - Jane Austen
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Randomness

Today I plan to...do some more packing and cleaning at home.

Last night I...rode an emotional rollercoaster. Jane, stop this crazy thing called...life.

I can't believe...I'm still writing this. Last night I decided I wasn't going to bother.

Official sign of the apocalypse - Rush on Colbert Report.

Rush to perform on Colbert Report 

At Obama headquarters (231 E. Colongial) this Saturday, there will be some training for volunteers at 10 and 2. Avery is interested so I may be taking him. You are welcome to join us if you'd like.

Mood

Today, Heather is...continuing to contemplate her existence and her place in the world. Jury is still out.
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Weather

77 degrees and mostly sunny.
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Horoscope for July 15, 2008

Today is all about depth -- you need to keep pushing and pushing until you've reached the right level. Whether it's at work or in your relationship, you should find that you're happier in the long run.
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Word of the Day

Occam's razor \AH-kumz-RAY-zer\ noun
: a scientific and philosophic rule that entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily which is interpreted as requiring that the simplest of competing theories be preferred to the more complex or that explanations of unknown phenomena be sought first in terms of known quantities
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Quote of the Day

“When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.” Jack Handey
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Thought for the Day

It has always been easier to turn inward and run from the world. It is time to embrace change and fight for what I want.
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Randomness

Today I plan to...continue to crunch numbers so I can figure out the moving  thing.

Last night I...spent some time with Avemonster.

I can't believe...how completely scared I am and how alone I feel.

The world continues to spin on its axis on an elliptical path around the sun. I continue to be held to its surface by gravity.

I can smell your spicy brains.

Things will be better here when I move even if it is a temporary solution.
 

Mood

Today, Heather is...moving through time and space.
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Weather

74 degrees and mostly cloudy. (Of course, it's 6 AM)
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Horoscope for July 14, 2008

You need to step up and try something new -- or else you'll end up falling behind! The day's energy demands taking action and you should be in the right mood to take advantage of it.
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Word of the Day

indurate
\IN-duh-rut\ adjective
: physically or morally hardened
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Quote

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves. - Bill Vaughan
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Randomness

Today I plan to...think of pleasant things even though my heart hurts.

Last night I...cleaned, packed, and wrote. Rinse and repeat.

I can't believe...I made the phone call I did. And I'm sure I screwed it up. :(

I almost stayed up all night working on the screenplay. It's the first time I've felt that charged up in an incredibly long time. At some point during the day, the faucet (painfully) twisted opened and words raged out. I had kept my feelings in check, my words censored for so long, I couldn't write. Now that I'm actually trying to say how I feel - for good or for ill - it's all I want to do.

Still feeling really uncertain about my life. I feel trapped between the old me and the new one. I've got to work to physically move from here. To officially break the ties with old me.

Maybe, just maybe, I have some worth.

Shelly has often said that it is better to stay on my good side when I'm writing or you may just get killed off in one of my stories. I think I've progressed beyond that stage. I mean, why just kill someone off when you can maim and mutilate? [Insert evil laugh here.]

I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me. - Cary Grant

Oh...or this one:

Everyone tells me I've had such an interesting life, but sometimes I think it's been nothing but stomach disturbances and self-concern. - Cary Grant